Clinical psychologist licensed in Romania · Bucharest and online
Couples counselling
A space where each of you can say what can no longer be said at home, in the presence of someone who takes neither side.
A couple does not usually fall apart all at once. The partners drift apart gradually: through things left unsaid, through arguments that keep repeating without leading anywhere, through silences that come to take up more room than words. By the time you realise it, the distance already seems too great for you to know where to begin.
Couples counselling is not a court that decides who is right, nor a place where someone decides, on your behalf, whether you stay together. Here you can hear, perhaps for the first time, what the other person hears when you speak.
Areas of work
Distance and silence
Sometimes nothing in particular has happened. It is just that, at some point, one of you noticed that you only talk about logistics — who picks up the child, what to buy, who pays the bills — and you can no longer remember the last time you talked about yourselves. Distance does not come from a lack of love, but from accumulation: small things, left unsaid at the time, which piled up until they became too many for a single conversation.
Arguments that keep repeating
The same argument, under different pretexts, ending the same way every time. When a discussion keeps repeating, it usually means it is not about what it seems to be about. Beneath it lies something neither of you can say directly: not feeling seen, carrying more than the other, having felt left alone at an important moment. Sometimes each of you sees the other through the eyes of an older story, and then the argument is no longer only between the two of you, but also between your respective ghosts.
Intimacy and sexuality
Desire does not disappear without reason. Most often it withdraws once distance has set in. At other times tenderness remains but desire disappears: your partner becomes just family, and family is no longer sexy. In counselling we talk about intimacy, about desire and about the way they change over the years, without shame and without prescriptions. When a medical difficulty is also involved, I work together with the doctor, not in their place.
Infidelity
Discovering an infidelity overturns everything you thought you knew about each other. For the one who was betrayed, the question is “how could you?”; for the other, often, “what could I not say?”. There is no right way through such a rupture, but there is a space in which both questions can be asked, without one drowning out the other. Infidelity →
Staying or leaving
Sometimes a couple comes not to save itself, but to understand. The decision to stay together or to separate is yours. Counselling can help you make it with greater clarity and, if you do separate, to go through it without it destroying everything there was between you, especially when there are children. Loving and being angry with the same person is not a sign that something is wrong; it is how deep bonds work. Breakup → · Divorce →
The couple after a change
The birth of a child, an illness, a loss, a move, retirement or the children leaving home all change a couple’s balance. What used to work no longer does, and partners sometimes find themselves beside a familiar stranger. Each such change asks the couple to renegotiate, often without words, what they had promised each other. The birth of a child, for instance, turns the couple into a triangle, and each of them has to find their place again.
If you recognise yourself here, write to me →
Who it is for
- Couples — married or not, with or without children, just starting out or after many years together
- One of the partners, when the other does not wish to take part — work can also be done individually, and that is no small thing
What my experience is made of
I am a clinical psychologist licensed in Romania and a psychoanalytic psychotherapist in training.
I work from a psychoanalytic perspective: I am interested not only in what is happening between you now, but also in what each of you brings into the relationship from your own story: what repeats itself, what is sought in the other, what is avoided.
Loyalty, autonomy, love and desire were the themes of my bachelor’s thesis in psychology, “Loyalty and Autonomy in Adult Relationships”, and of my master’s dissertation in psychoanalysis, “Loyalty and Sexuality: Love with a Forbidden Aim”.
How it works
- Write to me using the form below or by email. A few lines are enough; there is no need to explain everything.
- I reply within 1–2 working days and we arrange the time of the first meeting together.
- The first meeting, 45 minutes long, at the practice or online, is devoted to understanding the situation. Only then do we decide together whether and how to continue.
The framework
Sessions last 45 minutes and take place at the practice or online, together, with both partners. The first meeting is devoted to understanding the situation and agreeing together on how we will work. Fee: 300 lei / session.
When there is violence in the relationship, couples counselling is not the right setting. The first step is safety, and I can help you find the right resources.
First meeting
Write me a few lines about what brings you. There is no need to explain everything.
Or write to me directly at radutudorache@protonmail.com.
Psychological counselling does not replace medical intervention when it is needed.