Psychologist · online sessions, wherever you are
Between two countries
The most intimate things are hard to say in a language learnt late in life. Online sessions, in Romanian or English, wherever you are.
Leaving the country you grew up in usually means gaining something: a better life, a career, security. But every departure also comes with a loss that is spoken about less often: the language you grew up in, lifelong friends, parents growing old far away, a place you belonged to without having to think about it.
Many people who live outside the country they grew up in come to feel “neither from here nor from there”. Sometimes you need to talk about what you are going through in the language in which you learnt to feel: your mother tongue is not just a tool, but the language of our first bonds.
I work with people living abroad and with families separated by borders, mainly online.
Areas of work
Leaving and adapting
The first years in a new country demand enormous energy: language, paperwork, work, housing. Tiredness, loneliness and the feeling that “you should be happy, after all you chose this” can build up without a name. Adapting is not only practical; it is also a mourning for what you left behind.
Neither from here nor from there
Back home you are “the one who left”; in the new country you are “the foreigner”. Home is no longer quite home, and the new place is not yet yours. The question “where do I belong?” can keep coming back for years, especially at times of transition. Identity, which once seemed to go without saying, has to be built anew.
Families separated by borders
Parents who have gone abroad to work and children left in the care of their grandparents. Couples living in different countries. Brothers and sisters scattered across the world. Distance changes the way bonds are kept alive, and what goes unsaid weighs more heavily when you no longer see each other every day.
Parents back home
Parents growing old far away, caring from a distance, the guilt of not being there. And sometimes the news of an illness or a death received over the phone, a grief lived far away, without being able to get there in time.
Children growing up between two worlds
Children growing up with two languages, two cultures and, sometimes, with parents from different countries. Questions about belonging, about the language spoken at home, about what is passed on and what is lost from one generation to the next. Much is passed on without words: the parents’ longing, a language spoken only when emotions are involved, a country idealised or avoided.
Going back
Going back home does not mean finding what you left behind. The country has changed, you have changed, and returning can be as hard as leaving. Sometimes we discover that the longing was for a time, not for a place.
If you recognise yourself here, write to me →
Who it is for
- People living outside the country they grew up in — alone, as a couple or with their family
- Families separated by borders — parents, children, long-distance couples
- Those thinking of leaving or of going back
What my experience is made of
I am a clinical psychologist licensed in Romania and a psychoanalytic psychotherapist in training. I work in Romanian and English.
I also know first-hand what it means to divide one’s life between two places, separated by borders, distances, beliefs and cultures, because I spend part of the year in France, near Nice.
How it works
- Write to me using the form below or by email. A few lines are enough; there is no need to explain everything.
- I reply within 1–2 working days and we arrange the time of the first meeting together.
- The first meeting, 45 minutes long, online, is devoted to understanding the situation. Only then do we decide together whether and how to continue.
The framework
Sessions take place mainly online, by video call, in Romanian or English, at times arranged with your time zone in mind. You need a stable connection and a place where you can talk without being overheard. Sessions last 45 minutes. Fee: 250 lei or €45.
First meeting
Write me a few lines about what brings you. There is no need to explain everything.
Or write to me directly at radutudorache@protonmail.com.