Psychological support for high-achieving children and adolescents · Bucharest and online
The high-achieving child
How can we give high-achieving children an environment in which the pleasure of learning or creating remains stronger than the fear of failure?
Daily practice, competitions, school olympiads, entrance exams, rankings. For some children and adolescents, performance becomes the centre of their lives and, sometimes, the only place where they feel valuable. The pressure comes not only from outside, but also from an inner ideal that always demands more, or from the fear of disappointing their parents or their teacher.
Personally, I played competitive chess as a child and adolescent, and I know how painful a silver medal can feel. I also know how close together the intense pleasure of the game and the fear of losing, of not being good enough, can lie.
Areas of work
The pressure of results
Rankings, selections, scores that decide everything. When every competition seems decisive, the pleasure of playing or studying is lost, and the child ends up preparing not in order to win, but in order not to lose.
Freezing at the decisive moment
The child who does perfectly well at home and freezes at the competition. Trembling hands, a blank mind, movements that no longer come. Freezing is not a lack of preparation; it is often a sign that the stakes have become too high: what is being played for is no longer an exam or a competition, but one's own worth.
Failure
An important defeat, a failed exam, second place. For a child who has built themselves around performance, these moments can be experienced as a loss of self. They call for time, understanding and, sometimes, mourning.
Who am I outside performance?
When one's whole identity is built on exceptional results or on olympiads, any stop, voluntary or not, opens up a void. Discovering yourself beyond results makes performance more secure, not weaker. Giftedness →
Parents and the mentor
Parents who invest enormously, sometimes in their own dreams. The mentor who becomes a central figure, even more important than the family. The child may feel caught between expectations, and love may begin to seem conditional on results. It is useful for the parents to come on their own as well, to understand their own role and to optimise their own involvement.
The young performer's exhaustion
Tiredness that will not go away, loss of enthusiasm, repeated illness, irritability. Young people who perform at a high level can also reach burnout, and the signs are easily mistaken for laziness or lack of motivation. Burnout →
Giving up
Sometimes the child wants to stop. At other times, the parents wonder whether they ought to stop them. The decision to give up or to carry on is worth making with clarity, not out of guilt, fear or exhaustion.
If you recognise yourself here, write to me →
Who it is for
- Children and adolescents — olympiad competitors, musicians, artists, anyone living with the pressure of performance
- Parents — to understand their role and their own expectations
What my experience is made of
I am a clinical psychologist licensed in Romania and a psychoanalytic psychotherapist in training.
How it works
- Write to me using the form below or by email. A few lines are enough; there is no need to explain everything.
- I reply within 1–2 working days and we arrange the time of the first meeting together.
- The first meeting, 45 minutes long, at the practice or online, is devoted to understanding the situation. Only then do we decide together whether and how to continue.
The framework
Sessions last 45 minutes and take place at my practice or online. I usually begin with a meeting with the parents, then work with the child or adolescent. For those under 18, the work always begins with the parents' consent. Fee: 250 lei / session.
First meeting
Write me a few lines about what brings you. There is no need to explain everything.
Or write to me directly at radutudorache@protonmail.com.
Psychological counselling does not replace a psychiatric consultation when one is needed.